Modern constellation works goes far beyond the original dimensions of Family constellations. Systemic constellation work using the phenomenological attitude opens up deeply to the moment, without intention, and waits what this moment will bring to us. The power of this work comes from reality itself, not from the knowledge of the therapist. It is an open, fresh, resource-oriented way of working with people, for issues regarding family, relationships, work, money, health, death and others.
Classical Family Constellation work deals with our roots, our attitudes to these roots, and to the gift of life in general. We feel them and their effects in all areas of our lives, with the parents, with the children, in our love relationships, in our work, and in our health, even in the relationship to our country, or other countries.
We all come from a family, and family systems have natural orders, orders of love, which we cannot see with our eyes, but which connect and influence all members of a family system. In constellation work these hidden connections and influences, which can stretch over 3 or more generations, are brought to light, and are released. Doing that you move from blind, unknowing love to conscious, knowing love, in order to avoid repeating unconsciously the destinies of earlier members of the family system, and you get free to realise your own life.
Often the work is about honouring forgotten or excluded ones, people who have died early, or who had a hard destiny, and giving them a place in our hearts, or about taking our parents, unveiling family secrets, giving back guilt where it belongs. The 2nd world war still has a big power on many peoples´ lives, victims appear, and perpetrators, loss and survival. Failed relationships and abortions want to be recognised. Often it also is about acknowledging secret or lost love, about feeling grief and sadness. This frees later generations from those burdens.
Constellation work is about the balance of giving and taking in relationships, about love, joy and pain, and about the right attitude to pain and separation, and always about the respect towards the other.
Our parents and our ancestors behind our parents are like our roots. When the parents stand behind us, it makes us strong, and free to go our own way. When the relationship with our parents and the people before them is harmed, it will be more difficult to realize our potential, and we will miss the necessary strength in our relationships and in our work.
We cannot choose the family we are born into, with all the destinies belonging to our family system. They all belong to us, forever. But we do have a choice about whether we go into weakness, or whether we go into strength, whether we separate us from life, or whether we feel to be part of life, connected with the whole. This is our true freedom. And this is what family constellation is all about: Finding our strength, and recognising that we are not alone, but connected with the bigger whole.
The systemic conscience binds us to our family system, and also separates us from the systems of others. Our soul longs to go beyond the borders of our system, and longs for oneness, for freedom, for peace. These movements of the soul often simply show a direction, give an impulse, rather than offering readymade answers. If we open up for movements of the soul, our being can be touched deeply by guidance from a deeper reality.
The love of the spirit as Bert Hellinger calls his work now is about a love, which serves life, and are very close to the movements of the soul. This love transcends our concepts of good and bad, our morality, the borders we have created inside of us, and which we put on the world around.
Family Constellation is an effective and powerful method to recognize family entanglements in the family of origin as well as in the present family. Most often unexpected, solution oriented interventions bring relaxation and understanding in deep human problem situations and allow love to flow again between the members of the family system.
The uniqueness of this work is not only to uncover a destructive family dynamic. Using the responses of the representatives in their positions, the family structure and the relations between family members can be modified to establish a new, more natural and healing balance for the whole system. Love in a family system flows best when a certain systemic ‘order’ is respected. In Family Constellations we try to discover these ‘orders’ or laws and make them visible. Our way of relating becomes more open, conscious and flexible.