Freedom is something inner, when we have reached to moments where we can be aware of this, a lot of unnecessary struggling with people around us can simply dissolve like morning mist in the sun.
However, then we start to realize that there is quite a project ahead, to deal with our superego, the inner critic. And what we meet there are the fears, beliefs and instincts directly connected with survival. Or to say it more precisely, with what our inner critic considers necessary or dangerous for survival. And for biology, for evolution survival is the core concern. As an individual, and as a species, the drive for sex.
That´s why there is such a momentum, such a charge behind superego attacks. It´s not only because of the parents images inside of us, which became the foundation for inner critic. It is because of the sheer determination for survival. And stronger, smarter, more powerful, more attractive individuals simply have better chances, according to the logic of the superego. Or if you can´t be like this yourself, you can at least belong to such a person, at least as a friend on facebook, and immediately you feel a little bit better.
So how to learn how to deal with this impact? When it comes directly, it knocks you down. When it comes indirectly, it enters into you with the air you breathe, you don´t even notice it. Until hours or days later when you “don´t feel good”.
It is quite a journey, but as the old be4autiful Chinese proverb says: Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, and ends one day with a single step. So what can those steps be?
One is to realize that we tend to regress into the helpless child when the superego attacks. We feel small, helpless, exposed. And this is not the reality anymore in this moment.
Another one is to see, that on other occasions we start to identify with the attacker, with the superego, which says something like: “you are so impossible and inadequate and unwilling, so we have to punish you for that so that you will try harder next time”!
The first impulse often is to try to fight with the attack and our reactions, which leads to engagement. We give our energy to the one we fight with, naturally. So what works out much better is meditation.
In Meditation we watch, we create a distance, we disengage. We become the watcher. You become the one who can witness the child, who can witness the inner critic, the attack, the reactions. You stay the watcher. Eventually the identifications with both the child and the inner critic dissolve. And the power of this painful vicious cycle dissolves in the inner light like morning fog in the sunshine.
With inner critic we directly deal in a group called Essence: The Freedom Group